Estate planning can be one of the most sensitive tasks a family undertakes, but it doesn’t have to be a source of conflict or confusion. One proactive solution is to hold a “pre-estate” meeting, where families come together and openly discuss who will receive certain personal items. This preemptive conversation helps avoid misunderstandings, disagreements, and even legal battles after a loved one has passed away. By having these discussions ahead of time, families can ensure a smoother estate planning process—and thanks to technology, this can now be done easily and effectively online through a virtual pre-estate meeting.
In this guide, we’ll explore what a pre-estate is, how to conduct one in person, and how to host a virtual pre-estate. With tools like SaveOr, this process can become even simpler, allowing families to collaborate transparently and preserve their legacy with minimal stress.
What Is a Pre-Estate?
A pre-estate is a meeting where family members come together to discuss the distribution of personal belongings before a formal estate settlement takes place. This allows each person to express interest in specific items, share stories about sentimental pieces, and make decisions about who will inherit what. Instead of waiting until after a loved one has passed, a pre-estate allows for open conversations when emotions are less heightened. The goal is to avoid any future conflicts or confusion by having these important discussions while everyone is present and able to communicate their wishes.
A pre-estate can be a time of reflection and storytelling as much as it is about decision-making. Families often find that sharing the stories behind personal belongings helps give items more meaning, and this emotional connection can influence how items are divided. By the end of a pre-estate meeting, each family member should have a clearer understanding of what to expect, which reduces the chances of future disputes or disappointment.
How to Host an In-Person Pre-Estate
If you choose to host a pre-estate in person, it can be a deeply personal and memorable experience. Here’s how you can organize one:
Gather the Key Participants: Make sure to include everyone interested in the estate, whether they are direct heirs or people affected by the decisions being made. It’s important to ensure all voices are heard.
Prepare an Inventory of Items: Before the meeting, take time to list items that may be of emotional or financial value to family members. This list can include anything from furniture, artwork, and jewelry to family heirlooms and sentimental memorabilia. You may also want to categorize items by location, emotional significance, or financial value to organize the discussion.
Encourage Open Dialogue: Communication is one of the most important aspects of a pre-estate meeting. Encourage family members to be honest about their preferences and attachments to specific items. These conversations can help avoid future misunderstandings about who wanted what.
Consider Having a Mediator: If your family has a history of conflicts or if you foresee potential disagreements, it may be helpful to have a neutral mediator present. This could be a family friend, an attorney, or even a professional estate planner who can help guide the discussion and ensure it remains respectful.
Document the Outcome: After the meeting, make sure to document any decisions or agreements made. This can be done through written notes, photographs of items with designated recipients, or even recording parts of the conversation for future reference.
Going Virtual: The Benefits of a Virtual Pre-Estate
While in-person pre-estates can be a valuable way to connect, modern life makes it increasingly difficult to gather everyone in one place. Family members often live in different cities or even countries, and coordinating everyone’s schedules can be a challenge. Fortunately, technology offers a simple and effective solution: the virtual pre-estate.
Hosting a virtual pre-estate allows families to meet and collaborate from anywhere in the world, ensuring everyone has a chance to be involved. Here’s how you can make it happen:
Choose a Video Conferencing Platform: First, select a reliable video conferencing tool that everyone can easily access, such as Zoom, Google Meet, or Microsoft Teams. Make sure everyone has the proper links and knows how to use the platform beforehand to avoid technical difficulties during the meeting.
Leverage SaveOr to Organize Items: A digital tool like SaveOr can make a virtual pre-estate even more efficient. SaveOr allows you to create an inventory of personal belongings, complete with photos, videos, and detailed descriptions. Before the meeting, family members can browse through the items, read their stories, and start thinking about which pieces they are most interested in. This way, the virtual meeting itself can focus on making final decisions rather than starting from scratch.
Host a Collaborative Meeting: During the virtual meeting, use SaveOr to screen-share the item inventory, so everyone can see the belongings being discussed in real time. SaveOr’s invite feature allows family members to review items and express interest or leave comments before the meeting. This interactive process ensures everyone’s voice is heard without the discomfort of speaking up in front of the group.
Discuss Stories and Sentiments: One of the key advantages of SaveOr is its ability to store the stories behind personal items. Use the virtual pre-estate meeting as a time to share the sentimental history of certain belongings. These stories can provide context and help family members understand why certain items hold special significance, which may influence their preferences.
Document and Export the Final Decisions: Once the virtual meeting concludes, SaveOr allows you to export a detailed report of the items, complete with who has been assigned what, and any additional notes or comments. This document can then be used as part of the estate planning process, ensuring everyone has a clear record of the decisions made.
Why SaveOr is the Ideal Tool for Virtual Pre-Estates
Hosting a virtual pre-estate can be incredibly smooth when you have the right tools, and SaveOr is designed to make this as seamless as possible. SaveOr offers families a collaborative platform to manage their estate planning with transparency and ease. Here’s why it’s the perfect solution for a virtual pre-estate:
Simple Inventory Management: With SaveOr, you can easily catalog every item of importance in your estate, complete with images, descriptions, and even voice memos. This helps keep everything organized and accessible, so no item goes overlooked.
Collaboration Made Easy: SaveOr allows you to invite family members to view and comment on items before or during the virtual meeting. This makes it easier for everyone to express their interest or preferences in a transparent and respectful way.
Emotional and Financial Value Tracking: The platform also lets you assign both emotional and financial value to items, so family members can understand the significance behind each piece. This helps ensure that decisions are based on both sentimental and practical factors.
Legally Binding Documentation: After the virtual meeting, SaveOr generates a PDF report that can serve as part of your estate planning documents, ensuring your wishes are clearly recorded and legally recognized.
Conclusion
Hosting a pre-estate, whether in person or virtually, is a thoughtful and proactive way to avoid future conflict and ensure that your family’s legacy is preserved with love and care. Using a tool like SaveOr makes the process even easier, allowing families to collaborate, share stories, and make decisions in a natural and stress-free way. Don’t wait until it’s too late—start planning your virtual pre-estate today and give your loved ones the gift of clarity and peace of mind for the future.
Author:
Matthew Scola
Founder of SaveOr, an estate planning platform focused on helping families through challenging life events. His insights come from interviewing and working with families and professionals to find a solution to the challenges of estates and estate management.